Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Wisconsin Player Charged With "Cow Statue Tipping"

(Left) A cow sculpture similar to this one in Minneapolis was damaged by a Wisconsin hockey player last August

Editors Note: In what is believed to be a college hockey record, the Wisconsin Badgers are going to have two nominees for the 2006-07 All Bad Boyz Team in separate incidents. The latest incident occurred back in August but just came to light today in the Capital Times.

MADISON - One current and one former member of the University of Wisconsin men's hockey team were charged with criminal damage to property on Tuesday.

Kyle Klubertanz (Which is a Hungarian name meaning "cow tipper" in English), a star defenseman from Sun Prairie on both this year's team and last year's national championship team, and Jeffery J. Slinde of Monona, who quit the squad at the end of the first semester last year, were charged with being party to the crime of criminal damage to property for toppling a cow sculpture in front of the Kohl Center in August (We're only hearing about this now?).

The pair were reportedly on their way home from a night at a campus area bar when they decided to tip over one of the CowParade Wisconsin cows at the Kohl Center.

"We were stupid (to get caught)," Klubertanz told a UW Police Officer in way of explanation for the episode.

(The crack) Security personnel at the Kohl Center (who spend most of their time confiscating cow bells ironically) apparently saw the pair and called UW police. The incident occurred at 2:11 a.m. on Aug. 3. After police arrived, the pair offered to push the cow back upright (cow lifting?), the criminal complaint against them says.

The cow in question received damage to its base as well as damage to the right side just above the udder (Can she still bear calves?), according to the complaint filed against the pair.

Klubertanz, who was 20 at the time, was given a preliminary breath test by UW police and had a blood alcohol content of 0.097 (Ruh Roh), the complaint says.

If convicted of the misdemeanor charge, each would face a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a possible fine of up to $10,000 (although they might get probation if they agree to work at Chick-Fil-A).


LetsGoMavs said...

Damn, I hope they don't come to Mankato and tip over the huge Kasota Stone buffalo we have across the street from our arena!

dggoddard said...

Or the Paul Bunyan & Babe the Blue Ox statues in Bemidji or where ever they are.

LetsGoMavs said...

It would be kinda funny to see a bunch of drunk guys with the "I'm a big tough hockey player" attitude going, trying to kick Paul Bunyan's ass though.

The thing that gets me is why do THEY have a cow in front of their arena when WE'RE the Mavericks?!?! I just booked my hotel for the games in Madtown in I'll have to see if there's a replacement cow:)

dggoddard said...

There are cows all over Madison, Minneapolis, Chicago, NYC and Houston to name a few. The fiberglass cows are painted by local artists and spread all over town.

If there aren't any cows in Mankato that means that you don't have a vibrant art scene. You should MOOve immediately.

LetsGoMavs said...

That was one of the worst jokes I've heard in a long time. Since we DON'T have cows all over Mankato, I think I'll stay (seriously, I'm petrified of cows..real ones, not these ugly "art" ones). Mankato saves it's art for up on campus...where you'll find many pieces of ugly art all over. You would think that when Glen Taylor (MSU alum and owner of the Timberwolves) gave a big chunk of money to MSU we could have got some better (read:not cows) art up there.

Oh well..we may not have fancy cows around town but we have cheap drinks:) That's got to count for something.

Anonymous said...

Nice. Just more in the long line of miscreant behavior by the BADgers. Who could forget Players like Maley, Lundeen and Winchester brawling with police at various points in the past. Nothing new there. At least nobody got hurt.

Anonymous said...

In reality, "Klubertanz" is German with no clear meaning in the German language, though some suggest that it might be of a Dutch origin perhaps associated with an immigrant to Germany during the Thirty Years War, meaning "Wooden Shoe Dance". There are no Dutch words/names that support this speculation. The Klubertanz noted in this article (as most Wisconsin Klubertanzes) is a descendant of German immigrant (1846) to East Bristol, WI, Johann Sebastian Klubertanz from Pfaffenhausen-Hammelburg, Germany Dale Klubertanz