LetsGoDU

NCAA Scholarship Athlete Quiz

You've just come back to school after a gruelling road trip and you discover "Your Girl" has moved onto greener pastures with a another student at your university. What should you do?

a). Head down to the local tavern and risk being filmed the local undercover Fox News affiliate, while you consume a few drinks.
b). Head to the local topless bar to meet a few "local gals" and hope that your monthly meal & textbook stipend will see you through the evening.
c). Hit the books and hope that your hard work will pay off in the classroom.
d). Hit the Blackberry to round up your Gangsta' Posse to pay an O.J. Simpsonesque housecall on that backstabbin' weasel.


An alumus at your school keeps handing you "Ben Franklins" everytime your score a touchdown or a goal. What should you do?

a). Tell your coach because it might quite possibly be an NCAA violation.
b). Head down to the local tavern and start buying your own drinks to show those undercover Fox News Weasels that you're not a "freeloader."
c). Keep the money, but hit the books and hope that your hard work will pay off in the classroom.
d). Take your "old girlfriend" out to dinner and hope that she will leave that athlete that she just started dating.


A teammate has just been dumped by his two-timin' girlfriend. He invites you to join his Gangsta' Posse and help him "resolve things with her new friend." What should you do?

a). Say "No thanks, I've got to study," and hope that your hard work will pay off in the classroom.
b). Offer to take him to the local tavern, which may be staked out by the undercover Fox News Weasels and have a few drinks to help him through this difficult period.
c). Call up a few of the team Hoochies, who are always up for a party.
d). Loudly proclaim, "I've got your back," and go to your closet and pick out a "sharp" pair of shoes.


The police knock on your door at 2 AM looking for your teammate. What should you do?

a). Lie and tell them he's not home.
b). Demand to see a Search Warrent, while you text message him and his best friend that "Johnny Law" is knockin' at the door.
c). Tell them, "Just a minute," and get him out the back door ASAP.
d). Invite them in for coffee while you gently wake him up.


The Athletic Director, Coach and Dean of Student Affairs invite you to a meeting to discuss "incidents" that occurred last weekend. What should you do?

a). Get online and book a one-way ticket to Canada to the closest Major Junior club.
b). Contact the Team Attorney and don't go to the meeting without him.
c). Call your Gangsta' Posse on your cell phone to make sure everyone has their story straight. (Note to Self: Do NOT text message this info because it may be used against you in the criminal trial if one of your Posse "rolls over on you.")

d). Say goodbye to your new girlfriend, because you are going to turn "State's Evidence" and once in the Witness Protection Program she won't want anything to do with you.