Dear Red Baron,
First of all I would like to thank Red Baron Frozen Pizza for being one of the few corporations to support college hockey and the WCHA in particular. If more companies followed your lead, college hockey and the WCHA would be even more successful today.
It has come to my attention that several University of North Dakota hockey fans contacted you due to a minor typographical printer error at the WCHA Playoff Championships otherwise known as the Final Five. Apparently the poster (above) misidentified their team as the larger Division I athletic program at North Dakota State University.
Due to the outcry in Grand Forks, I feel that you should be made aware of several discrepancies in their so-called "boycott." Firstly, most North Dakota hockey fans are on welfare and can't afford premium frozen food products such as your Classic Pizzas or your Deep Dish Pan Style® pizzas. Like you I have come to expect only the best from the Red Baron® brand, however trust me when I say they can't afford it.
I could see how your marketing department might think that Grand Forks could be an important component in the growth of your company due to the small kitchens in many of their trailerhomes, the wood burning stoves they use to stay warm and the frigid climate in North Dakota that is ideal for storing bulk frozen food products outdoors. However by the time they use their government checks for beer, hockey tickets and terminating unwanted pregnancies in their animals there is little money left over for food each week. Unfortunately Food Stamps in North Dakota don't cover such breakfast luxuries as your Ham or Bacon Mini Scrambles™ that come in a convenient size that's easy to prepare.
I also think that its important to note that the University of North Dakota has been sanctioned by the NCAA due to their "hostile and abusive" (their words not mine) logo towards Native Americans. I could see how your company wouldn't want to be associated with such a blatantly racist symbol in this day an age. By using the Final Five poster to support the North Dakota State Bisons, you sent a strong message that racism in any form should not be tolerated.
I'm sure you were as puzzled as I, how so many North Dakota fans had the time to write emails of protest over such a minor typographical printing error. Although most UND fans don't have jobs, they fill their days by going down to the local library and sending death threats to DU hockey parents, finding new ways to pirate cable TV to watch their hockey team when they play Denver, Minnesota and Wisconsin and trying to forge FEMA documents to get new trailers due Katrina victims.
I am sorry that your excellent company has experienced what WCHA followers have known for years, that the "Fighting Sioux" supporters are the most paranoid, myopic fans in the the league.
In closing, thank you again for supporting college hockey and be advised that the fans of the other nine WCHA programs are greatful for your support. I myself will head over to the supermarket this weekend and look for the Red Baron® brand Pizzeria Style™ pizza. The pizza made with a Bake To Rise® crust.
Support Red Baron and buy their products...
dggoddard - WCHA Hockey Fan