(above) Don't let the large number of banners in World Arena intimidate you, most of them are participation ribbonsThis weekend fans of New Hampshire, Michigan State and Notre Dame will descend on Colorado Springs for the NCAA Hockey Regionals. While "The Springs" as the locals refer to it, is situated in one of the most beautiful areas of the country, the natives that inhabit the city aren't like you and me. In other words they aren't law abiding, intelligent or have all their teeth.
When you arrive, consider playing a round of golf. At 6,000 feet above sea level the ball literally explodes off the tee and you can impress your golfing buddies back home with stories of 400 yard drives. Don't be alarmed if the local hockey players are playing in "blackface." They claim its not a racist act, just a sunscreen that prevents damaging UV rays at high altitude.
Perhaps you're looking for a little "alternative" nightlife activities. The local preachers like to drive up to Denver and party with gay prostitutes. While we neither condone nor condemn this type of behavior, if you want big city "conveniences" you'll have to leave town.
On the off-chance that you and your wife/girlfriend are invited to one of Mr. & Mrs. Lampl's "Swinger Parties," by all means accept, but be forewarned that the hockey-player-to-women-ratio will be uncomfortably high. Please drink responsibly, because the Lampl's will be signing affidavits if you get a little tipsy (No ID required).
If you're running a few minutes late to the Michigan State-Colorado College game, don't worry about it. CC will be unfurling their "4th Place" participation banner from last weekend's WCHA Final 5 Tournament.
Don't bother looking for Colorado College's trophy case in World Arena. Its back on campus, next to the janitor's supply closet and it contains two dusty 1950's era trophies that long ago lost their luster. There are only a few Colorado Springs residents still alive that remember the last championship in 1957, so if you want to hear the stories, by-pass the local watering holes and head straight for the nursing homes.
Finally, have fun and remain alert for "shoulder charging" CC fans between periods. Don't forget to chant "Fifty Seven" when CC falls behind in the game.
Go Michigan State, Notre Dame & New Hampshire
When you arrive, consider playing a round of golf. At 6,000 feet above sea level the ball literally explodes off the tee and you can impress your golfing buddies back home with stories of 400 yard drives. Don't be alarmed if the local hockey players are playing in "blackface." They claim its not a racist act, just a sunscreen that prevents damaging UV rays at high altitude.
Perhaps you're looking for a little "alternative" nightlife activities. The local preachers like to drive up to Denver and party with gay prostitutes. While we neither condone nor condemn this type of behavior, if you want big city "conveniences" you'll have to leave town.
On the off-chance that you and your wife/girlfriend are invited to one of Mr. & Mrs. Lampl's "Swinger Parties," by all means accept, but be forewarned that the hockey-player-to-women-ratio will be uncomfortably high. Please drink responsibly, because the Lampl's will be signing affidavits if you get a little tipsy (No ID required).
If you're running a few minutes late to the Michigan State-Colorado College game, don't worry about it. CC will be unfurling their "4th Place" participation banner from last weekend's WCHA Final 5 Tournament.
Don't bother looking for Colorado College's trophy case in World Arena. Its back on campus, next to the janitor's supply closet and it contains two dusty 1950's era trophies that long ago lost their luster. There are only a few Colorado Springs residents still alive that remember the last championship in 1957, so if you want to hear the stories, by-pass the local watering holes and head straight for the nursing homes.
Finally, have fun and remain alert for "shoulder charging" CC fans between periods. Don't forget to chant "Fifty Seven" when CC falls behind in the game.
Go Michigan State, Notre Dame & New Hampshire
12 comments:
That is great stuff.
Just spit my soda all over the keyboard....
Great stuff! Very creative dg.
HAHAHA! CLASSIC!
This is very useful information. You should contact Lonely Planet--they will want to add this to their book on Colorado.
Go Pios!!!
Absolutely brilliant. Same city where the editorials in the newspaper still claim that global climate change is "made up by scientists wanting to milk the government out of money."
I'm relatively conservative and I can still realize reasonable evidence when I see it...
Of course I'm not delusional about following a "good" hockey team- mine has won a national championship in the past few generations.
haha, ok that one is pretty funny. However, 9 of our banners are McNaughton Champion banners AND the latest cup is at the World Arena right now.
Here's a new theory: the "woman" at the "center" of the scandal was actually Crandall just trying to get an "exclusive" with the team and give DG some more ammo and more publicity for herself. You obsessive CC haters agree??!
Very well done. I think I laughed so hard i burned off all of the calories from the easter dinner. Thanks dg.
Love it, DG always saves his best work for the playoffs!!!!!
I'm inspired by the DU hockey team. :-)
Tiger pride: yo, dude, why don't you host the next recruit. Do it in black face like your picture next to your post. You've got enough f*gs on your team that a little three some could be worked out. Be sure to video tape for the archives . Maybe I can help.
Love and kisses
Ted Haggard
I'm afraid to read supportcctigerhockey.. the rap music has me fearing a potential drive by.
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