(above) Denver's new GEICO Caveman mascot will bring a new energy to DU's Athletic DepartmentIn a surprise move, University of Denver Chancellor Robert Coombe announced today that DU's new mascot would be the GEICO Caveman & Cavewoman. It was a difficult negotiation but GEICO finally came up with a number we couldn't refuse," Coombe said.
Coombe said the money from GEICO would be used to pay faculty and remove a hiring freeze that has paralyzed DU for the past week.
Coombe added, "What sealed the deal for us, was the University of Denver Anthropology Department confirming that Native Americans committed genocide on the cavepeople."
In a related move Magness Arena will be renamed "The GEICO Cave" and a major renovation will be in the works to make the concourses more "cave like."
Coombe's statement concluded, "We were in negotiations with Disney until late in the summer, but their offer included mostly stock. Once Disney's share price started flailing like Colorado College in the playoffs, we had to throw Boone [DU's old mascot] under the bus, and hope the students wouldn't catch on to what we were up to."
(left) AUSA Senator Jason Lehr
Needless to say, DU's four cavepeople students are not happy with the news. "We feel completely marginalized by this new mascot," said DU Senior and AUSA Senator Jason Lehr. Lehr is the son of famous actor John Lehr who plays the caveman on TV.
The University of Denver was one of the only current Division I Athletic programs without a mascot.
GEICO is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway, headed by Warren Buffett, one of the country's most successful investors. For the past two years, Fortune magazine has named Berkshire's property-casualty insurance operation the most admired in the country.
Coombe said the money from GEICO would be used to pay faculty and remove a hiring freeze that has paralyzed DU for the past week.
Coombe added, "What sealed the deal for us, was the University of Denver Anthropology Department confirming that Native Americans committed genocide on the cavepeople."
In a related move Magness Arena will be renamed "The GEICO Cave" and a major renovation will be in the works to make the concourses more "cave like."
Coombe's statement concluded, "We were in negotiations with Disney until late in the summer, but their offer included mostly stock. Once Disney's share price started flailing like Colorado College in the playoffs, we had to throw Boone [DU's old mascot] under the bus, and hope the students wouldn't catch on to what we were up to."
(left) AUSA Senator Jason LehrNeedless to say, DU's four cavepeople students are not happy with the news. "We feel completely marginalized by this new mascot," said DU Senior and AUSA Senator Jason Lehr. Lehr is the son of famous actor John Lehr who plays the caveman on TV.
The University of Denver was one of the only current Division I Athletic programs without a mascot.
GEICO is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway, headed by Warren Buffett, one of the country's most successful investors. For the past two years, Fortune magazine has named Berkshire's property-casualty insurance operation the most admired in the country.
6 comments:
ROFL!
I prefer the Flintstones :-)
ugh ... facepalm!
still, it is funny. for a brief minute i thought you were serious, DG. i blame the cans of Molson from the game.
What do ya mean, funny? Let me understand this cause, I don't know maybe it's me, I'm a little f****d up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh... I'm here to f****n' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? :-)
New marketing slogan
"DU is so easy even a caveman could graduate."
I assume their degrees will be in anthropology.
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